Why am I awake at 3:32 in the morning?

Well, I fell asleep at 8 last night. So, I figured I'd gotten in a good 7 hours of sleep already. I dunno. Work has been driving me crazy lately. Dumb little things have been getting to me. I guess I've never been much for the small stuff of the world but sometimes the small stuff does add up. And I hate that I've been letting it get to me.
I'm getting to go home soon. That'a a huge thing! A month and a half or so I still have to wait, but it will be well worth it. I need a break from Alabama. Granted, I love the people that I have become friends with but I just can't seem to feel at home here. I miss home. Home, by the way is Maryland. I miss my family. Something just feels just feels so incomplete to me here in Alabama.
Well, I'm going to quit now so I don't depress anyone.

Random thoughts and musings

It's interesting the things you hear about sometimes. Like this morning. I go to a website to check on some wrestling news and discovered Chris Candido passed away! I couldn't believe it! He was a great wrestler and will be missed. Now, I wonder what will become of Sunny? Last I heard, she put on weight and was going to be an airline stewardess.
Anyway, I just wanted to say something about that. Another wrestler gone too soon.

Why did I just rent that movie?

Ok, we just finished watching Napoleon Dynamite. I have but one question to myself. Why did I rent that?

Journey

No, this isn't going to be about who's crying now and I won't say for you to don't stop believin, but I will say to come to Christ with Open Arms. With that, I'm going my separate ways........


Ok, thank you thank you. I'll be in Vegas the rest of the week starting the second Wednesday of the month.

Ok, now for the serious stuff. First off, Healing the Masculine Soul. I have yet to read the second chapter for this week and I will probably work on that over the weekend. It took me three readings through the first chapter to understand it and myself a little bit. Getting this chance to truly shed the "Johnny Metal" character has been a monkey off my back that I have needed to do for a long time. It felt good being myself the other night. There is still a lot of work to be done though. Keep praying for me there.
Secondly, Sacred Romance. Another one that I will probably work on this weekend. Well, Friday. Getting me back where I belong with God. He called me out on December 24, 1997 and I came, a bundled heap of humanity that needed a Savior. I want to be that bundled heap of humanity again in a fresh way. When I first came to Him. The feelings of joy and release.
Thirdly. Deb-Proof Your Marriage. Yes, I know. 3 books at once. How am I doing it? I've been reading a chapter of this a day lately and it's opening my eyes to how I spend my money and how I need to work on that part of my marriage as well. God is showing me all kinds of things I need to work on in my life and while He's doing it now like Mike Tyson knocking out an opponent in no time, I'm willing to take the punches and ride the journey of Life with Him and some brothers.
Fourthly. The band. No, not Alan, Laura and the gang, although I miss playing with them as well, but the Possum dude and the Torch and um, whatever we call the drummer. :-) We need a bassist!! 3 jams and 2 songs later. That's pretty amazing. I can't believe I wrote a friggin breakdown though! Me, the anti-breakdown king. Oh well, God is showing me something there too. I'm excited about that as well. It's good to have bands of brothers.
Fifthly. Brother Bill, I'll be praying for you. I'm going to miss you coming in the store in the mornings. But, I promse you, we'll be dropkicking and bodyslamming each other a plenty when the day comes and we're in God's House together. See you in HuntsVegas soon!
Alright, time to head to work. Keep praying for me folks. God is working with me and I can use all the prayers. God Bless!!

Shma-March 5th and other music notes

Wow, it's been a while since I posted anything here. Well, let me say that March 5th was an incredible night of metal mayhem. 540+ people. Crowd control? HAH!! FORGET ABOUT IT! Thrown out the window! Or, in some cases, thrown off the stage. Reminded me of the night I saw Pantera back in Salisbury. Only, I didn't come home smelling like pot, cigarettes, smoke, sweat and booze. Just a bit sweaty. I felt bad that we had some PA problems. While on the stage for the Showdown, all I could hear was drums and vocals. BTA said they were having problems too, but I thought they sounded fine. All the bands were great. Now for some new news. It's looking like I'm in another band. Which is cool because I'm getting to do something I wanted to do with the Possum dude and he hooked up with a guy who posts on the board who knew of a good drummer now all we need is a bass player. And hey, we got a song done! I can't say that I have contributed a whole lot to the writing process yet, but in time, I will. I hope to still get a chance to play with Laura and Alan and the gang. Those guys will help me keep my chops up. I'm just happy to have this opportunity to jam with guys and be in an awesome community. I'm looking forward to getting to know the other bandmates a little better in time as well. I even think all of the wives of the band would all get along smashingly. That would be a plus!
No Disciple show for me this weekend. Laura wasn't feeling so hot and Sabrina has to work early Sunday morning and I also need to be up early to make sure she is up early. Plus, I get to play for the kids at church on Sunday as well. That also is a serious blessing. Let's see, anything else? Nah, I don't think so. I have Terror sitting here on my lap just a purring away. I think she likes having me home. She can be lazy on me. Go figure. Anywho, God Bless!

Ok, so what did we do on our day off?

Good question! I'm glad you asked! So, we did a little running around. We had a nice lunch at Moe's. Always go too much on their hard rock salsa though. Always leaves the tongue burning. Thank goodness for Coldstone! Then, off to promote the next Shma show. Wow, that is going to be an amazing show. 4 awesome bands for 5 bucks. It'll be great to see Mortal Treason again. Showdown, Becoming the Archetype as well. Showbread is cool but never was a huge fan of them. Then, we met Joey and Renea for a little dinner and then, off to the movies. Hitch. Ok, wasn't my cup of tea. But, then again, not many people would want to watch the movies I would want to see. I felt like I needed to see a movie like SAW after watching Hitch. But, anywho, there you have it. So, naturally, Sabrina's disappointed in me not liking the movie because we rarely agree on a movie.
Now, just as a sidenote, isn't it horrible and degrading that entertainers get so desparate that they have to pose for a magazine like Playboy? Case in point. Debbie Gibson. I was saddened to even notice a Playboy in Sam Goody's (when did they start carrying them?) and notice that she was featured in the mag. Sad. I guess her "Electric Youth" days are long gone and she can't seem to recapture the magic anymore. Anywho, that is my rant on that.

Oooo YAY! A Day off!!!

Just wanted to say that both the Mrs and I have the day off together! YAHOO!!! This is rare and we're going to take full advantage of it! See you at the next Shma show! :-D

Just a Prayer

Lord, the one thing I pray for today is that You show me the community You and You alone want me to be with. Thank You Lord for how You have blessed me and even though I am far from perfect, You still love me for the egotistical, prideful sinner that I am. Thank You Jesus for what You did for me on the cross. Help me to always know You are near. Bless this day and all days to come.

A little addendum and other blessings

First off, I should mention that when I talked about Sam, Lara and Taylor, I should mention that Taylor is their adopted daughter.
Did I even mention the thought of my parents coming down sometime in the spring? WOW what a blessing that is! That is a big YAHOO!!! Then hey, my sister and family are making a stopover here in town around Palm Sunday. That's another big YAHOO!!!
Then, another big YAHOO!!! The band opportunities are being thrown my way by God and I can't believe what God is doing. Last night I get a call from the Possum dude and he's hooking up with some other guys just to have a little fun, play a few shows and minister the Word of God through our music and not have the desire to become huge rock stars. I'm all about that! Now, don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing with Alan, Laura and the gang. I'm blessed to be a part of what they are doing. I'm blessed to be playing music at all. I'm so thankful for God's Blessing.

YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sorry for taking so long to update this for anyone who keeps up with this little piece of blog, but I had to update this day. Sunday night, I got an e-mail that I literally felt my heart jump for joy! You know, kind of like how John the Baptist leapt in his mother's womb when Mary was carrying Jesus in the womb. Our old RBF at church is looking to get back together on Sundays! One of the things we have missed so much was that community. While I love the people in the Pilgrims, we just haven't felt like we fit in. We're just there and watch as a sideline observer. When you have had that taste of real community and you move to something else, it is hard to get that feeling back. And I'm not sure but today, I don't have this tired, foggy feeling that I've had for a while. Maybe it was because I rested a lot this weekend and really spent some quality time with Sabrina. I'm actually glad we stayed home yesterday after lunch and just hung out and rested. Ya know, speaking of lunch, my goodness Taylor is a cutie! Taylor is the daughter to our friends Sam and Lara. I play with Sam a couple Sundays a month for our kids ministry at church. Sam & Lara and us go way back to when they first visited the church and went to the RBF we were going to at the time. Then, the MWOKs started up and we jumped ship to that one only to find Sam and Lara there too! The thought of getting the original MWOK group back together is bringing a few tears to my eyes, actually. I didn't realize how much I missed them. It's going to be a great day today serving the Lord!

Just typing for the heck of it.

Well, here it is. I haven't updated in a while. Anything exciting? Hmm, nah. Valentine's dinner was nice. Sabrina got all dolled up and we went to Landry's. Been kind of restless, I guess. But, very content to be isolated. Strange, I know. It's been one of those strange days today. Someone said I looked like I was in a cranky mood. Maybe that's a good term for it. I don't know. Just ready to go home and stay home for a while. But, then I gotta come back to work the next day. Yuck. Oh well. I've bored you all enough. Hopefully I'll come back with something more interesting than this.

Pray

Last night, some things hit me hard. The illustration of the seed and good soil was one of them. How I feel like that good soil that hears the Word but doesn't understand the comparision to a 0-7 year old was the biggest. So many times I still feel like that 0-7 year old wanting to be around his parents all the time because he is learning about life but has no clue about it. I'm 35 and still don't understand life at times but the longing to be with my parents hasn't changed. Even though they are 900 miles north of me. We always talk about fellowship in our RBF and while Sabrina & I have some good fellowship with friends here, nothing has compared to what we had with my parents. Someone poured their soul out and I felt for them and wanted to cry with them but couldn't. I couldn't even cry during Passion of the Christ! Yeah, it's a movie, but everyone around me is bawling their eyes out and I sat there, Stone Cold. Feeling the pain, but not moved enough to tears. I guess I am realizing how much I really am in my nickname. A lot more Stone Cold than I realized. My prayer is to release the Stone Coldness inside of me to feel other people's pain and share tears with them. I want to release that pain that I have buried that doesn't want to come out. Pray for me, whoever happens to read this. Right now, I just feel very isolated and needing to be alone. I'm thankful for music to lift my spirits up. I'm thankful for God's Word in my Life. Reading Isaiah has been so uplifting to me. Worshiping God right now is taking a new meaning as I feel that I'm in a dark place. And I long for that peace.

Shma fest was amazing!

Well, what can I say? Another wild night at the Shma. 259+ people for the show last night. I was so happy for Joey that so many people showed up. The first band, something about Vegas dies today was ok. Lots of technical difficulties and the singer pranced around the stage like Ozzy Osbourne. But, give them a few more shows and I think they could get somewhere. Remember Sammy Jankis wasn't too bad. I feel bad that I never got to see them with Joey though. I was hoping last night would have been different but hey, they have a full time bassist now so that's good for them. Ashes Fall was good. Seemed a little off but for the most part, they were good. Maylene and the Sons of Disaster were really good. I took one for the Shma and got my clock cleaned. I think I was seeing stars into the night after that one. But it was great to see Maylene again. Becoming the Archetype was amazing as always. And I just love hanging out with them as well. Showdown? Hey, I was up there singing with them. That tell you what I think of them? Again, just like BTA, great and awesome guys to hang with. I can't wait for March 5th to get here to see them again. I can't wait to see the picture with Alan, Laura and the BTA guys. Oh yeah, and I'm in it too. I hope it comes out. It was great to see Andy again. He got to do some screaming as well during Showdown's set. I was suprised at how many people thought my Z-95 shirt was so cool. That shirt is older than most of the people that were there last night! But, I had to be different I guess. Anywho, for you RAM guys reading this, you missed me in my element! Johnny Metal doing what he loves to do. Bringing the Metal for Jesus!! God Bless you all and see you next post!

Glad for brothers

After reading the chapter in Purpose Driven Life talking about defeating temptation, I am so thankful for brothers who are praying for me. Being able to confess a lot of issues of my life to these guys has been freeing to me. But, I still have a long way to go. I sure don't want to let the pride and ego keep winning battles. Daily surrender. That's what it is all about. The one thing about this book that I have to admit, I need to constantly work on is my relationship with God. Get my vertical straight before the horizontal. I keep praying for that in my life.
I'm looking forward to the Shmafest tomorrow at Center Point. For you guys in RAM who might read this before Saturday, you want to see me in my element? Come to this show! It will be loud and it will be crazy and I promise myself to need help leaving because I won't be able to walk on my own! Ok, maybe that is a bit extreme, but I'm ready for a night banging the head, moshing, and maybe even some screaming into mics! Who knows, right? Anywho, I'm outta here. God Bless!!

Couple days later.....

Wow, I didn't get to put anything on this yesterday. Probably because I was busy all day. Lots to do today too. So, this might be short. Started reading Isaiah today. I am so thankful to read a chapter of God's Word to start my day off with. I am thankful that He makes me white as snow and that my sins have been washed away. Lord, I surrender this day to You! Continue to show me where my purpose is and Your Will in my Life!

Another Incredible Worship Experience!

Some might call it the Brook Hills Homecoming Hour but my goodness, I was ready to go Home after the service today! The songs spoke to me, drove me to tears and it all felt so good! "Life is worth living because He Lives!" WOW!!! It just doesn't get any better than that! I wished Sabrina could have been there today for RBF. She got to miss out on Christie's cake. :-( And Steve and Amy are starting a home RBF. How cool is that? I'll be praying for them to see when it starts growing.
Alan did some great legwork on the lyrics I wrote. Sabrina convicted me of it though. I should have done that too. But, it blesses my soul to see what Alan found in the Bible that ties the lyrics together. Thank You Lord for giving me the inspiration to write these lyrics! And thank You Lord for blessing me with guys and gals who are hungry to be out there and praise Your Name through music!
Another thought was freeing the captive within the captivity. Freeing that secret, that shame, that guilt. I need to pray for people who struggling with that. God Bless you all!!

Shma Fest, an afterthought

February 5th is going to be a day when I leave the Shma in traction. Yes, folks, I look forward to doing so much moshing & headbanging that I won't be able to walk on my own. When you have bands like the Showdown, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, Becoming the Archetype, Ashes Fall, Mothra and Remember Sammy Jankis on the bill, that is a perscription for absolute metal mayhem. Bring it on People!! I've said to the guys in RAM, you want to see me in my element? Then come to this show! 4:00 at the Cathedral of the Cross in Center Point. Be there so you can be blessed by the Christian metal of these bands and then leave in traction!

Update on the writing again

Wow, I just was blown away! Thanks to Alan, he did a little digging for me and came up with Scripture references for some of the lyrics I had written! I felt God's Presence as I was writing it and that is just another reminder of how much God is in this song. All glory to God for this! All Praise to Him!

Writing again

Well, today I sat down with one of Alan and Dustin's creations and wrote some lyrics down for it. I haven't really written much lately. The last thing I wrote was something for my Dad and I never really finished it yet. What I wrote today though, that's metal. I like it. Probably will take some editing and refining but I like what came out. First time I've ever wrote lyrics to someone else's music and it wasn't a parody. Continue to pray for these kids though. They have their own life struggles and I hope I can help them deal with them and teach them as well. Anywho, it's late. Well, late for me. After 9. Smackdown is already done, and I didn't watch any of it. I didn't even read any spoilers on it. Oh well. Royal Rumble is coming on Sunday. Joey and I will more than likely be watching. Now, time for bed. Good night all. God Bless!

What is the Showdown rules??

For anyone who has read this and is wondering about my blog address, I thought I'd explain it a bit. Showdown Rules. The Showdown is a Christian Metal band that I am really digging right now. They bring that style of metal that reminds me a lot of Pantera, Iron Maiden, etc. Plus, they are great guys to hang with. When they played the Shma back in December, I talked with them a lot and I think they all wanted my Stryper shirt. :-) Hey, I even got to sing on one of their songs that night. That was awesome! But, when I came to naming my blog address, my first tries didn't work. So, I thought I would do something like Showdownrules and it worked! I'm glad it did. I look forward to February 5th when they come back. I look forward to beinig stiff and sore for about a month after this show.
As far as other things going on, wow, is the Purprose Driven Life speaking to me! God has spoken to me in a whole new way through this book. My prayer is to look at the relationships I have and continue to cultivate them and surrendering of myself. I know with God's Help, that can be done.

I've Got A Lot To Learn About Love

There was a song back in the 90's by a band called the Storm. It featured Gregg Rolie who played keyboards for Journey back in the 70's. And that song is called I've Got A Lot To Learn About Love. Now, the song has to do with losing a girl. But, you take out part of the chorus and just the title of the song and the end of the chorus, "Teach me about Love!". Right there is where my prayer is. Glenn's leading of RAM last night was very good. Maybe my need for a break from reality is just taking time to rest in Him, as Chris alluded to earlier on my blog. Maybe then will my vertical relationship become stronger and maybe then will it be easier to surrender all of the stuff of my life that is keeping me from Him. Yes, it might turn into a time of isolation but maybe that is what I need. The point made about do I love myself like I love my neighbor? I don't love myself. Neither does Sabrina love herself. We are both shovelling a lot of crap out of our lives but we still aren't where we need to be. So, teach us Lord. Teach us about Love. Show us what it is to be vertical with You. Help me and Sabrina close that triangle towards You. I pray for that rest and I pray that I stop running from whatever it is I am running from. Help me to surrender. Thank You Jesus!!

Happy Birthday Mom!!

It's my Mom's Birthday today! Just wanted to share that one real quick. I hear she was listening to some Johnny Mathis today. She loves Johnny Mathis. I'm sure she got her birthday card from his fan club by now. She's a lifetime member. Even though they got some snow, I hope she had a great birthday today! Love you very much Mom!

Worship, Taziki's, football and guitars

Wow, today was good. I was in a worshipful frame of mind, which has been lacking in me lately. The message was good. The RBF time was good. It was so encouraging to be back in RBF. I've missed the last couple weeks due to strange and unusual circumstances. But, it was awesome seeing so many people, not only in worship, but in RBF! I feel like my heart for worship is coming back to me. Probably because God is working on me. Constantly under construction. Then, off to lunch at Taziki's. Yummy that was good. Good day to stay home today and stay warm. So I'll be watching some football and playing some guitar. I'm having so much fun playing these jams that Dustin and Alan did that I want to get better at them. And also start writing some lyrics. I want to really do some great worship style lyrics and Scripture based lyrics. I'll be praying for inspiration there. So, here's to an Eagles/Steelers Super Bowl. I hope I get that.

A Full Rich Day

Here it is, a little after 9 at night and it's been a good day. Woke up when I wanted to with no Sabrina in the house. She was away at her brother's house so I had the place to myself. I blared some JLM really loud today. Wow, it was awesome to hear them again. I miss those guys. They were one of my first Christian concerts I ever went to. I wish I had that tape on CD though. My poor cassette is worn out! Then, got me some sets of 7-strings for Mr Squier. Then some lunch and then off to play some with Alan, Laura and the gang. I'm so happy that God has blessed me with some talented kids to hang with. Then, back home to await Sabrina. Nice dinner (wings and pizza) and a walk around Brookwood then we run into Trey, Emily and another Shma kid who's name is on the tip of my tongue but for some reason, I can't remember her name (SORRY!!) and it's back home so Sabrina can watch Kermit The Swamp Years and I can work on the great jams that Dustin and Alan put together. I think I can learn this stuff quicker than I think. I'm going to try anyway. Anywho, God has been so good today. I praise Him for all that has gone on today. Oh yeah, and I got to talk to Mom and Dad too. I WANT SOME SNOW!! It's my Mom's birthday on Monday. I wish I could be there to celebrate. She'll be 69. I pray we have her around for a lot more years to come. Good night folks. I'm tired. God Bless whoever happens to read this.

Tilly

I just heard a dramatic presentation of the story by Frank Peretti called Tilly. It was on Focus on the Family. It was very powerful to me and moved me to tears. I've had the carrot dangled in front of me a couple of times when it came to possible pregnancies and they got yanked away from me with a lot of hurt and bad feelings. Lord, are you trying to show me something with that? I surrender and give this day to You again, Lord. Teach me Your Ways and help me to understand Your Truth and to be Your everlasting best friend!

Meaningless

That was one of the first words that hit me in the new book of the Bible I started reading today. Prior to today, I read a Psalm a day. Yes, I even did 119 in one day. I think I combined 117 and 118 in one day. Anyway, Wednesday was when I read 150, so I needed to start a new book. Ecclesiastes jumped out and said READ ME!! I think the first chapter sums up where I should be. So much in life is meaningless. All the small stuff I worry about. All the things in this world that set me off. It's all meaningless. God? There is meaning!! I long for God's meaning and purpose in my life. I may not receive the incredible wisdom that Solomon prayed for but I do pray that I would receive just an ounce of it. Thank You Lord for this new day! I feel more excited about this new day than I have in a little while. This day is Yours. Everything I have within it I surrender to You. Thank You Lord!

Longing for God to be my Best Friend

I came away from the reading of Purpose Driven Life tonight knowing something I have always known, I guess. Man will always fail me and God will never fail. In the words of the praise song, I want to know You more. That is my prayer. I'm tired and so this is staying short and sweet. I want to know You, Lord. I want to go Deeper.

It'snotaboutmeit'snotaboutmeit'snotaboutme

When am I ever going to learn? For those who might fall upon this little blog of mine I'll just let you know that I help a friend out in moderating a message board for a concert venue he runs. He's a darn good friend too. He and his wife have been a Godsend for both me and my wife. And I was letting a little dumb thing on the board try and screw that up. It's not about me folks! When will I learn that? Everything here on Earth is nothing! It's small! Eternity in Heaven is something I long for but I keep letting pride and ego get in the way! It doesn't make the world rotate, as I heard in a humorous song once long ago. God, what do I need to do? Help me surrender these small things in this life. Help me focus on You and You alone. Because You alone are worthy! Break me of this pride and ego problem.
And to my friends, I love you all! God Bless You!!

5:16 in the morning

I wake up and for some reason I'm thinking of how I will be when my cat Terror is gone. I hope that day doesn't come too soon. I love my little Terror. It was a very painful decision to put my other cat Naomi down last year, but I had to because she was so sickly and I was robbing her of a good quality life. If you can give that kind of thing to a cat, I guess. But, Terror is different. She isn't sick or anything but as I type this she is here on my lap and I have tears in my eyes. I've had her since she was about 8 weeks old. This coming August will make it 9 years that I've had her. She longs for my attention. Every time I walk through the door, she is meowing to no end. She waits for me to sit down so she can find the comfort of my lap and my touch. And as I type this, I think to myself, what an awesome picture of God this is. I want to be close to God so badly that I will whimper and whine the whole way until I get close to Him and be in His Presence. Lord, I long for Your Presence. Make it known to me in an incredible way today. Surrendering everything, even Terror, to You. I pray for peace today and to watch You work in my life today. Thank You Jesus.

Surrender and Trust

That's what I am dealing with folks. Seems like the car is wanting to be hassle with us again.
God, the car is Yours. The house is Yours. My job is Yours. My music is Yours. My everything is Yours. What is it of Yours haven't I surrendered to You? You have forgiven me of my sins. Do I trust? Do I truly believe I am Yours? Am I living for You? Lord, I need Your help. Teach me what it takes to be obediant to Your Will. Take me Lord, I'm Yours.

I'm tired.

Today I wondered if God is really smiling at me. Sometimes I don't always feel that I am being completely and heartfelt obediant to Him. I am so ready for a long extended break from reality. Lord, I just want to Yours. Truly and completely Yours.

A week away from reality would be nice

I have to admit something. For some reason last night, I came home and felt like I just wanted to go somewhere where I didn't have my cell phone, computer or anything. Just spend time alone with God. Clear my head out. Seems like I have a lot of junk to deal with and just when I thought it was getting cleared out, I got more that was hidden away just waiting to rear its ugly head.
Lord, my prayer to you today is to grant me strength, wisdom and knowledge. Please push me out of the way when I get in the way. Thank you Lord!

Guitars, double bass and praise lyrics

Saturday was a ton of fun for me. Getting together with Alan, Dustin, Laura, Trey, Josh, Kyle and a couple of other guys who I can't remember their names (sorry guys!) was so much fun for this aging metalhead. But, I couldn't help but feel bad about being there. Laura seemed really disconnected from all of us. Alan and Dustin absolutely blew me away as they usually do when they play. But, I'm happy to hear songs that I have had in my own head get fleshed out wiht drums and stuff. Might not be the most metal thing anyone ever heard, but my biggest goal is just honor Christ and be praising Him. I have been letting my ego run me too much and I pray that God will help me with that. But, it did warm my heart to hear "Father's Hand" and "Here's My Son" have a drum sound behind it. But for now, I pray that my fingers can learn the songs that Dustin and Alan have been putting together. And pray that we can come up with stuff together as a unit and see how we can honor God with our music. And yes, I include Laura in that unit! Pray for Laura as she deals with stuff in her life. Pray for me as I deal with my ego. Pray for me to allow God to be in my heart and that I worship Him.

Wow, was worship good!

I needed worship this morning. It's not about me. It's all about Jesus. It's all about God. It's not about me. My ego has taken too much of my life and it's time to let it go and let God. Enough worshiping little gods. God, it is all about You and my prayer is to continue to keep me out of Your Way. Everything in my past is gone. There isn't anything I can do about it. You have forgiven me of my sins. Whether or not someone doesn't forgive me for something I did to them, that is their problem. They need to take that with you. Give me strength in fighting the enemy from wanting to take my joy. Thank you Lord for your awesome mercy and love!

40 Days of Purpose? So far, so good!

Ok, so here it is and we're 5 days into it. Yes, the Metal One is enjoying this. So much of what I have read has been things that I have pretty much followed or understood in my Christian Walk. But, it's been so good to have this be reminded to me. I have been praying for a while to let go of myself and let God run the show. A lot of times, I keep wanting to get in the way. I'm glad Sabrina is going through it too. It's been a good kick in the pants for her I can tell. It's sad when I gave up on her almost because she wasn't willing to do much in the way of devotional time with me and she just stayed in this dry bones deadspot area. Seeing her read the book has helped her realize to get back to some basics of life. It isn't about us. I have so wanted to die to self. Maybe that is how I'm ready to die. Maybe not the physical death, but the death to self. I'm still praying for the answer of what could keep me from eternity. I feel that my purpose is coming along slowly but surely. Music has always been such a driving force in my life and now the thought of doing the RAM band has gotten some excitement amongst a few of you. On a personal front, I'm getting to be a part of a band that will rock the masses. Alright, not a lot of masses, but to get to be in a metal band is something I have wanted to do for 20 years or more. And these kids wanted me in the band and they like my songs. Go figure that one out. Must the Slayer influence in my one song. Most importantly, I want to let God bless me & this band with songs to hopefully touch people and help them in leading them to Christ.
So, it's all new to me and yet it is all so refreshing to me. I look forward to this 40 day journey. I'm ready for a bigtime mosh pit in Heaven!