Friday, June 13, 2008

Sometimes while I'm driving, looking for my song

The title is taken from a song called "Is There Anybody Out There?" by Burlap To Cashmere. I was turned on to this band by a friend back in 1999. I was invited to go see them in concert with Caedmon's Call. I picked up the CD and fell in love with it. Then, seeing them in concert was mindblowing. I've been playing guitar for a really long time. I used to write lyrics in high school (all of which have all but vanished) but didn't really put any of those lyrics to music. I had ideas. I'd go to where I worked, which was a warehouse, and I'd get my amp out, my pedalboard and my Hondo guitar and I'd jam out. Sometimes I'd tape whatever it was I was playing. I started bringing what would be my ex wife along for the ride. But, in time, I quit doing it. No, I'm not blaming her for stopping the playing there. Actually, me storing my equipment out there was a bit risky beause of the pests and stuff there. Deep down inside, I wanted to do music. At times, I felt it was the only thing I thought I was even slightly good at. About 3 songs remain that I even have lyrics to from my pre-Christian days. One got cheaply and badly recorded and will never ever be heard because of the content of the song. Another got recorded better and is on my music MySpace Page. And another has music and actually started getting re-written after accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I started writing a song here and there since then. Two more songs got recorded and are on my music page. There are others. The ideas just haven't been completely fleshed out. Hardly anyone has ever seen some of these. One day. God has blessed me with a couple of people in my life that I could make music with or help out with their own tunes. I miss them both. They are both in Maryland. The time I did the band thing just wasn't me and, well, I've blabbed enough about that. I'm still looking for that song. I pray that God is leading me to the people that I can make music with. Not just playing worship songs written by others. But stuff that we write and perform. People talk about the longings of the heart. That is probably my deepest longing. Doing music. The other things of this world really don't mean a whole lot to me. I guess as long as the Main Audience is listening and He is applauding me, then I guess I should be happy for that Audience of One. My prayer is to share what the Audience of One has done for me. He has done so much and I wonder if I have done anything for Him? I know I shouldn't really concentrate on that. The whole Christian thing really isn't about being the perfect Christian. It doesn't come from how well you read your Bible or how well you sing that praise song or whatever. But, it does come down to the Great Commission. Making Disciples. Not of me. But for Christ. And Christ alone. So, I guess I'll keep on driving. Still looking for my song. Looking for the answers and where I do belong. And yes, finally, Sweet Jesus is bringing me back Home.