Friday, September 26, 2008

Fireproof-a review, thoughts and memories

Just got back from watching Fireproof. It's from the people who brought us Facing the Giants. The football movie with a major Christian influence. So major that the only reason basically that it was rated PG was because it mentioned Christ in a positive way. So, Fireproof. The movie that has people talking about Kirk Cameron again. The only person he'll kiss is his wife. It's a shame that the story had to come out with the movie release.
As for the movie. It was good. Tells of a story about a firefighter (Cameron) who seems to go out of his way as a firefighter but his marriage? Well, needless to say, the sparks could be put out with a drop of sweat. He's willing to fight for it but he needs help in the matter, basically. I would recommend this movie to anyone. It's well done and the characters were portrayed well. The acting was better this time than in Facing the Giants where the acting was a bit stiff.
Now, for the thoughts and memories. How ironic that the day I go to see this would have marked 16 years of marriage had my ex and I still stayed together. There were a lot of scenes in the movie that rang home to me. I threw the marriage away. Any futile attempts of trying to save it were far too late. Problem was, I was selfish. I had too many other addictions that kept me from loving her. She was robbed of what being a wife should be. I didn't give her the opportunity of being a loving husband to her. Not the way I've come to learn what that is. I've come to learn so much of what the Bible teaches on marriage, love and relationships. And while it has helped me in my marriage now, times like these, it puts a strain on it. I still have a lot to learn. I don't want to mess things up again. And I want to ask forgiveness to the ones I've hurt along the way. I don't deserve an ounce of it. And I don't know who will read this. All I ask is that you pray for me. I feel so alone and worthless even though I truly know that I'm not. The weight on me is heavy. And while I know to give it to Jesus, it's still there in my memory. Like He is saying this needs to be taken care of and laid to rest. You've laid it to rest with Me, but now, for the tough part.
Pray for me. That's all I ask.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Dad

What better person to blog about than my Dad? It's been such a joy to be around him. It took me a long time to catch up to that. The stories. The limburger. Right now, he's going through a bout with some lung cancer. I should have fallen to pieces about him over this but the Lord has kept me strong. And ONLY God. Yes, I've had a lot of people pray for me and encourage me and don't get me wrong, that is awesome. I appreciate every single one of them. But, God's Word tells us that He is bigger than any calamity.
But, I'm getting away from my Dad. He is dealing with a bit of lung cancer. It started out with a slight bout with pnuemonia. Through antibiotics, he was able to get over it, since it was such a minor case of it. In the check up x-ray, doctors found a spot in the lower lobe of the right lung. Well, at first, they thought it was scar tissue, but it turned out to be a cancerous tumor. Hopefully it didn't spread past the lung. No matter what, he's being positive about the whole thing. That positive has kept my Mom and brother positive. Hearing me being positive is helpful as well. As I said, this is all God. And I am eternally grateful for that.