Tilly

I just heard a dramatic presentation of the story by Frank Peretti called Tilly. It was on Focus on the Family. It was very powerful to me and moved me to tears. I've had the carrot dangled in front of me a couple of times when it came to possible pregnancies and they got yanked away from me with a lot of hurt and bad feelings. Lord, are you trying to show me something with that? I surrender and give this day to You again, Lord. Teach me Your Ways and help me to understand Your Truth and to be Your everlasting best friend!

Meaningless

That was one of the first words that hit me in the new book of the Bible I started reading today. Prior to today, I read a Psalm a day. Yes, I even did 119 in one day. I think I combined 117 and 118 in one day. Anyway, Wednesday was when I read 150, so I needed to start a new book. Ecclesiastes jumped out and said READ ME!! I think the first chapter sums up where I should be. So much in life is meaningless. All the small stuff I worry about. All the things in this world that set me off. It's all meaningless. God? There is meaning!! I long for God's meaning and purpose in my life. I may not receive the incredible wisdom that Solomon prayed for but I do pray that I would receive just an ounce of it. Thank You Lord for this new day! I feel more excited about this new day than I have in a little while. This day is Yours. Everything I have within it I surrender to You. Thank You Lord!

Longing for God to be my Best Friend

I came away from the reading of Purpose Driven Life tonight knowing something I have always known, I guess. Man will always fail me and God will never fail. In the words of the praise song, I want to know You more. That is my prayer. I'm tired and so this is staying short and sweet. I want to know You, Lord. I want to go Deeper.

It'snotaboutmeit'snotaboutmeit'snotaboutme

When am I ever going to learn? For those who might fall upon this little blog of mine I'll just let you know that I help a friend out in moderating a message board for a concert venue he runs. He's a darn good friend too. He and his wife have been a Godsend for both me and my wife. And I was letting a little dumb thing on the board try and screw that up. It's not about me folks! When will I learn that? Everything here on Earth is nothing! It's small! Eternity in Heaven is something I long for but I keep letting pride and ego get in the way! It doesn't make the world rotate, as I heard in a humorous song once long ago. God, what do I need to do? Help me surrender these small things in this life. Help me focus on You and You alone. Because You alone are worthy! Break me of this pride and ego problem.
And to my friends, I love you all! God Bless You!!

5:16 in the morning

I wake up and for some reason I'm thinking of how I will be when my cat Terror is gone. I hope that day doesn't come too soon. I love my little Terror. It was a very painful decision to put my other cat Naomi down last year, but I had to because she was so sickly and I was robbing her of a good quality life. If you can give that kind of thing to a cat, I guess. But, Terror is different. She isn't sick or anything but as I type this she is here on my lap and I have tears in my eyes. I've had her since she was about 8 weeks old. This coming August will make it 9 years that I've had her. She longs for my attention. Every time I walk through the door, she is meowing to no end. She waits for me to sit down so she can find the comfort of my lap and my touch. And as I type this, I think to myself, what an awesome picture of God this is. I want to be close to God so badly that I will whimper and whine the whole way until I get close to Him and be in His Presence. Lord, I long for Your Presence. Make it known to me in an incredible way today. Surrendering everything, even Terror, to You. I pray for peace today and to watch You work in my life today. Thank You Jesus.

Surrender and Trust

That's what I am dealing with folks. Seems like the car is wanting to be hassle with us again.
God, the car is Yours. The house is Yours. My job is Yours. My music is Yours. My everything is Yours. What is it of Yours haven't I surrendered to You? You have forgiven me of my sins. Do I trust? Do I truly believe I am Yours? Am I living for You? Lord, I need Your help. Teach me what it takes to be obediant to Your Will. Take me Lord, I'm Yours.

I'm tired.

Today I wondered if God is really smiling at me. Sometimes I don't always feel that I am being completely and heartfelt obediant to Him. I am so ready for a long extended break from reality. Lord, I just want to Yours. Truly and completely Yours.

A week away from reality would be nice

I have to admit something. For some reason last night, I came home and felt like I just wanted to go somewhere where I didn't have my cell phone, computer or anything. Just spend time alone with God. Clear my head out. Seems like I have a lot of junk to deal with and just when I thought it was getting cleared out, I got more that was hidden away just waiting to rear its ugly head.
Lord, my prayer to you today is to grant me strength, wisdom and knowledge. Please push me out of the way when I get in the way. Thank you Lord!

Guitars, double bass and praise lyrics

Saturday was a ton of fun for me. Getting together with Alan, Dustin, Laura, Trey, Josh, Kyle and a couple of other guys who I can't remember their names (sorry guys!) was so much fun for this aging metalhead. But, I couldn't help but feel bad about being there. Laura seemed really disconnected from all of us. Alan and Dustin absolutely blew me away as they usually do when they play. But, I'm happy to hear songs that I have had in my own head get fleshed out wiht drums and stuff. Might not be the most metal thing anyone ever heard, but my biggest goal is just honor Christ and be praising Him. I have been letting my ego run me too much and I pray that God will help me with that. But, it did warm my heart to hear "Father's Hand" and "Here's My Son" have a drum sound behind it. But for now, I pray that my fingers can learn the songs that Dustin and Alan have been putting together. And pray that we can come up with stuff together as a unit and see how we can honor God with our music. And yes, I include Laura in that unit! Pray for Laura as she deals with stuff in her life. Pray for me as I deal with my ego. Pray for me to allow God to be in my heart and that I worship Him.

Wow, was worship good!

I needed worship this morning. It's not about me. It's all about Jesus. It's all about God. It's not about me. My ego has taken too much of my life and it's time to let it go and let God. Enough worshiping little gods. God, it is all about You and my prayer is to continue to keep me out of Your Way. Everything in my past is gone. There isn't anything I can do about it. You have forgiven me of my sins. Whether or not someone doesn't forgive me for something I did to them, that is their problem. They need to take that with you. Give me strength in fighting the enemy from wanting to take my joy. Thank you Lord for your awesome mercy and love!

40 Days of Purpose? So far, so good!

Ok, so here it is and we're 5 days into it. Yes, the Metal One is enjoying this. So much of what I have read has been things that I have pretty much followed or understood in my Christian Walk. But, it's been so good to have this be reminded to me. I have been praying for a while to let go of myself and let God run the show. A lot of times, I keep wanting to get in the way. I'm glad Sabrina is going through it too. It's been a good kick in the pants for her I can tell. It's sad when I gave up on her almost because she wasn't willing to do much in the way of devotional time with me and she just stayed in this dry bones deadspot area. Seeing her read the book has helped her realize to get back to some basics of life. It isn't about us. I have so wanted to die to self. Maybe that is how I'm ready to die. Maybe not the physical death, but the death to self. I'm still praying for the answer of what could keep me from eternity. I feel that my purpose is coming along slowly but surely. Music has always been such a driving force in my life and now the thought of doing the RAM band has gotten some excitement amongst a few of you. On a personal front, I'm getting to be a part of a band that will rock the masses. Alright, not a lot of masses, but to get to be in a metal band is something I have wanted to do for 20 years or more. And these kids wanted me in the band and they like my songs. Go figure that one out. Must the Slayer influence in my one song. Most importantly, I want to let God bless me & this band with songs to hopefully touch people and help them in leading them to Christ.
So, it's all new to me and yet it is all so refreshing to me. I look forward to this 40 day journey. I'm ready for a bigtime mosh pit in Heaven!